Affiliated COUNSELING AND REFERRAL
SERVICE
DR. Michael Shery, clinical
psycholoGY
2615 Three Oaks Rd,
Ste. 2A,
Cary, Illinois 60013
| “Since 1976, state-of-the-art counseling which treats the problem, not just the
symptom…” |
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Doctoral degree: University of Southern
California, 1975
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Referrals accepted from Alexian Brothers, Good
Shepherd, Centegra, Loyola, Northwestern University, University of Chicago and the Mayo
Clinic hospitals and physicians.
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Counseling, Therapy
and
Expert Evaluations for:
- ADHD - Alcohol -Substance Abuse -Anger - Fitness for Duty - Disability
-Adoption
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Questions? Call Dr Mike NOW:
847 275 8236 (24
Hrs)
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Suffering From Verbal Abuse? Stop Suffering:
12 Minutes Each Night Can Change your Life!
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Being in a relationship where verbal abuse occurs is, literally, Hell! It often leads to physical violence
and has a lifelong effect on your kids.
Before the situation escalates to catastrophic levels, you must seek professional help, whether from a private
practitioner or non-profit agency! Verbal abuse is dangerous, destructive and dysfunctional.
When verbal abuse is frequent in a relationship, it is a clear sign to get help or get out. Unfortunately, many
partners escape into denial or minimization by minimizing it.
They also minimize its lifelong ramifications as something that was not really all that important because it
occurred in the heat of the moment.
However, any professional with integrity will tell you the truth. And that is that physical or verbal
abuse should never be tolerated; the sooner you seek professional help or end the relationship, the better off you
and your kids will be.
Even though you may try to push your awareness of the abuse under the rug, its presence is likely to lead to
your self-esteem being badly fractured and your self-confidence being totally destroyed. Tip: Does your
relationship bring the best out in you and your partner? If so, it is probably healthy.
On the other hand, if verbal abuse occurs, it is a stark indicator that your relationship is seriously
dysfunctional. Important: Learn to recognize the following symptoms of abuse because being in denial only
worsens your situation.
Also, if your partner believes he can verbally abuse you with no repercussions, the odds are greater that this
will lead to domestic violence later. Please Note: Below are symptoms of verbal abuse that
should trigger your immediate seeking of help or your termination of the relationship.
1. You are unable to have an open conversation with your partner without fear that a major
argument will erupt.
2. Your partner insults, embarrasses and insults you.
3. Your partner isolates you and does not let you mingle with people freely.
4. Your partner sometimes runs up large debts and then expects you to accept it without
making a fuss.
5. Your partner imposes restrictions on you and becomes very critical if you do not abide by
them.
6. Your relationship is very unpredictable, alternating from being distant and cold to being
unbelievably close.
7. You feel smothered by your partner; you fail to have time for yourself.
8. Your partner throws things or slams doors or drawers when you are arguing.
9. Last but not least: You feel on edge, intimidated or fearful of your
partner.
There are various degrees of verbal abuse. Some may be direct, uncensored and graphic. Other forms can be more
veiled and subtle.
For example, sarcasm and threats are veiled forms and can be used to beat you down.
Caution: Partners who are initially suspicious and controlling often resort to serious abuse
later.
Unfortunately, sometimes those with low self-esteem subconsciously enter relationships that presented hints that
becoming abusive was possible; if this describes you, do you know how to deal with it, now that it has
happened?
What should you do?
I have found the following 12 minute solutions to be crucial to success. The first is getting professional
help and this usually involves:
1. Individual counseling or psychotherapy. The purpose being to understand yourself
and your situation clearer.
You get objective feedback, support and guidance from a professional with experience in treating abuse in
relationships. At the end of each visit, summarize what you learned in a journal and spend 12 minutes each
day studying and practicing what you learned.
2. Marriage counseling. You and your partner learn how to communicate better and
problem-solve effectively. Abusive communication and anger management versus healthy dialogue and interaction
is addressed.
You and your partner, together, get feedback, support and guidance from a professional experienced in treating
abuse. At the end of each visit, you both summarize what you learned in a journal and spend 12 minutes each
day studying and practicing what you learned.
3. Self-therapy kits (STKs), articles and books -If going to counseling seems initially like
too big a step, reading articles and books, attending seminars and using self-therapy kits (STKs) can also
help. STKs are self-help programs that tutor you on how to deal with abusive behavior.
As opposed to books and articles, they teach these skills using a multimedia format: CDs, DVDs, MP3s,
e-books, workbooks, audios, videos etc. Get easy-to-understand tutoring on how to respond assertively to your
partner by using an STK for 12 minutes each evening.
Caveat: If your safety is in danger your first step should be personally consulting with
a professional! If nothing is working to improve your partner's behavior and you are even beginning to fear
for your physical safety, it is simply time to walk away.
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Questions? Call Dr Mike
NOW:
847 275 8236 (24
Hrs)
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>New
Patient Registration
>Articles:
Mental Health and Counseling
>Articles: DUI, Domestic Violence and other Court-Ordered Counseling and
Assessments
>Anger
Management and ADHD
>Depression and
Anxiety Articles
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About The
Author
Dr. Mike Shery is a
licensed clinical psychologist and is affiliated
with almost all health plans, including:
ValueOptions, Medicare, Cigna, Coventry, Cigna Behavioral Health, United Health Care,
Aetna-Allied, First Health, Healthstar, Blue Cross Blue Shield of Illinois, ComPsych, Magellan
Health, Meridian, HFN, Tricare, Humana, most union local plans, most school district plans,
Unicare, ChoiceCare, CAPP, Multiplan, Mental Health Network, Managed Health Network, United
Behavioral Health, PPONext, Private Health Care Systems, Humana-Military and Beech Street
.
He has practiced
clinical psychology for approximately 30 years and is board certified as a specialist in professional counseling by the International Academy of Behavioral
Medicine, Counseling and Psychotherapy. He is the director of Affiliated Counseling and
Referral Services and is a member of the American
Counseling Association.
The office is located
in Cary, IL and in select cases phone consultations are available for those who don’t live
locally> Telephone Counseling.
To make an
appointment> New Patient Registration or to learn more about the psychological services
he provides call him at 1-847-275-8236 (24
Hrs).
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