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So you're going through a Divorce! Should you Get Counseling?
Affiliated COUNSELING
AND REFERRAL SERVICES (ACRS)
DR. Michael Shery, clinical
psychology
2615 Three
Oaks Rd, Ste. 2A,
Cary, IL 60013
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“Since
1976, state-of-the-art counseling which treats the problem, not just the symptom…”
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FREE Taped
Messages: Call 847 516 0899 (24 Hrs). To hear: How to Select a
Counselor-Push 1; Emotional Stress Caused by an Accident or Injury-Press 2
Go to: Store: Unique Psychological and Motivational Tools
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I am a psychologist and marriage counselor in the Woodstock-Cary-Algonquin-Lake in the Hills
and Crystal Lake area of Illinois. I find that there are 11 signs that indicate you or your family members would benefit from counseling when
going through a divorce or separation.
What are these signs?
1. A
relationship that is characterized by numerous arguments and conflicts that are disruptive to the emotional status of family
members
2. A
relationship which is saturated with strain, bitterness and tension just below the surface
3. When
the talk of separation causes fear and anxiety in family members which significantly degrades the quality of daily life
4. The
childrens uncertainty and worry about which ones will remain in the family home and which ones will re-locate
5.
Children experiencing excessive stress, agitation, acting-out or conflict about being separated from a parent or sibling
6.
Parents who should be separated but are still living under the same roof because of logistical or financial problems, thus causing increased
coldness and estrangement in the home
7.
Conflicts, arguments and frustration caused by a seriously compromised lifestyle engendered by financial stress caused by the expense of
operating two households
8. Symptoms of acting-out, depression, anxiety, fear, rage, substance abuse or
poor school performance in family members
9.
Anger, bitterness, arguments and frustration caused by having to accommodate new step-parents, step-children or step-siblings
10. Child management
and discipline problems that result from single parenting or lack of cooperation from the ex-spouse
11. Children that
appear to be experiencing some guilt or anxiety for the marital failure
If you experience any of these issues, you can benefit from counseling. But if you begin, what can your counseling accomplish? How will
it benefit you?
1. You
will learn how to nurture your kids and reassure them that they are still loved and not responsible for the marital discord.
2. You
will learn to develop flexible living arrangements that meet your kids needs.
3. If you
and your partner are still living together, practical and clear guidelines will be set-up to keep the situation from getting more
toxic.
4. You
will discover how to integrate new additions to the family resulting from remarriage or cohabitation.
5. You
will develop a plan for cooperative parenting that keeps you and your former spouse on the same page so conflicts can be minimized.
6. Your
children will learn to accept the break-up as independent from anything they have ever said or done.
7. Your
therapist may prescribe daily affirmations or motivating thoughts so that your subconscious mind really believes that you do not have to worry
about the separation. When your subconscious believes it, your everyday mind will follow and the
anxiety will disappear
10. The therapist may
prescribe some articles or books for you to read about surviving divorce and ask that you select relevant concepts to discuss in your
counseling session.
11. Your therapist
will likely help you to develop an awareness of your fear of independence triggers and constructive ways to manage them.
12. You may be asked
to write about how your unsatisfactory marriage contributed to your anxieties and those of your family members and how your divorced state may
enhance your emotional recovery and that of your children.
13. Your therapist
will assist you in developing insight into any personal or career changes that may be needed in order to maximize the success of your newly
separated living situation.
15. You may be
encouraged to increase your awareness of how your upbringing may have affected the way you behave in relationships. Often a traumatic past may linger or even lurk into your present, thereby encouraging a pattern of
dysfunctional relationships.
16. In helping you to
manage a traumatic past, your therapist may help you identify the role you played in your family, the feelings associated with it and the way
it may impact your current or future relationships.
17. The therapist may
help you to identify self-defeating patterns relevant to the way you operate in relationships and suggest ways of modifying them so they are
not repeated.
18. You will identify
sources of ongoing support and reassurance to help you in effectively curtailing and managing your anxiety about starting anew.
.
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About The Author
Dr. Mike Shery is a licensed clinical psychologist
and is affiliated with almost all health plans, including: ValueOptions, Medicare, Cigna, Cigna Behavioral Health, United Health Care, Aetna, First
Health, Healthstar, Blue Cross Blue Shield of Illinois, ComPsych, Magellan Health, HFN, Tricare, Humana, most union local
plans, most school district plans, Unicare, ChoiceCare, CAPP, Multiplan, Mental Health Network, Managed Health Network, United
Behavioral Health, PPONext, Private Health Care Systems, Humana-Military and Beech Street .
He has practiced clinical psychology for
approximately 24 years and is board certified as a specialist in professional
counseling by the International Academy of Behavioral Medicine, Counseling and
Psychotherapy. He is the director of Affiliated Counseling and Referral Services and is a member of the American Counseling Association.
The office is located in Cary, IL and in select
cases phone consultations are available for those who don’t live locally> Telephone Counseling.
To make an appointment> New Patient Registrationor to learn more about the psychological services he
providescall him at 1-847-275-8236 (24 Hrs).
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To make an appointment, schedule yourself now;
Click:
Make appointment for Cary Office: Therapy and Counseling
Go to: Store: Unique
Psychological and Motivational Tools
To return to: Marriage and Relationship Articles
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