So you're going through a Divorce! Should you Get Counseling?
Affiliated COUNSELING
AND REFERRAL SERVICES (ACRS)
DR. Michael Shery, clinical
psychology
2615 Three
Oaks Rd, Ste. 2A,
Cary, IL 60013
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“Since
1976, state-of-the-art counseling which treats the problem, not just the symptom…”
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FREE Taped Messages: Call 847 516 0899 (24 Hrs). To hear: How to Select a Counselor-Push 1; Emotional Stress Caused by an Accident or Injury-Press 2
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I am a psychologist and marriage counselor in the Woodstock-Cary-Algonquin-Lake in
the Hills and Crystal Lake area of Illinois. I find that there are 11 signs that indicate you or your family members would benefit from
counseling when going through a divorce or separation.
What are these signs?
1. A relationship that is characterized by numerous arguments and
conflicts that are disruptive to the emotional status of family members
2. A relationship which is saturated with strain, bitterness and
tension just below the surface
3. When the talk of separation causes fear and anxiety in family
members which significantly degrades the quality of daily life
4. The childrens uncertainty and worry about which ones will remain in
the family home and which ones will re-locate
5. Children experiencing excessive stress, agitation, acting-out or
conflict about being separated from a parent or sibling
6. Parents who should be separated but are still living under the
same roof because of logistical or financial problems, thus causing increased coldness and estrangement in the home
7. Conflicts, arguments and frustration caused by a seriously
compromised lifestyle engendered by financial stress caused by the expense of operating two households
8. Symptoms of acting-out, depression, anxiety, fear, rage, substance abuse or
poor school performance in family members
9. Anger, bitterness, arguments and frustration caused by having to
accommodate new step-parents, step-children or step-siblings
10. Child
management and discipline problems that result from single parenting or lack of cooperation from the ex-spouse
11.
Children that appear to be experiencing some guilt or anxiety for the marital failure
If you experience any of these issues, you can benefit from
counseling. But if you begin, what can your counseling accomplish? How will it benefit you?
1. You will learn how to nurture your kids and reassure them that they
are still loved and not responsible for the marital discord.
2. You will learn to develop flexible living arrangements that meet
your kids needs.
3. If you and your partner are still living together, practical and
clear guidelines will be set-up to keep the situation from getting more toxic.
4. You will discover how to integrate new additions to the family
resulting from remarriage or cohabitation.
5. You will develop a plan for cooperative parenting that keeps you
and your former spouse on the same page so conflicts can be minimized.
6. Your children will learn to accept the break-up as independent from
anything they have ever said or done.
7. Your therapist may prescribe daily affirmations or motivating
thoughts so that your subconscious mind really believes that you do not have to worry about the separation. When your subconscious believes it, your everyday mind will follow and the anxiety will disappear
10. The
therapist may prescribe some articles or books for you to read about surviving divorce and ask that you select relevant concepts to discuss in
your counseling session.
11. Your
therapist will likely help you to develop an awareness of your fear of independence triggers and constructive ways to manage them.
12. You may
be asked to write about how your unsatisfactory marriage contributed to your anxieties and those of your family members and how your divorced
state may enhance your emotional recovery and that of your children.
13. Your
therapist will assist you in developing insight into any personal or career changes that may be needed in order to maximize the success of
your newly separated living situation.
15. You may
be encouraged to increase your awareness of how your upbringing may have affected the way you behave in relationships. Often a traumatic past may linger or even lurk into your present, thereby encouraging a pattern of
dysfunctional relationships.
16. In
helping you to manage a traumatic past, your therapist may help you identify the role you played in your family, the feelings associated with
it and the way it may impact your current or future relationships.
17. The
therapist may help you to identify self-defeating patterns relevant to the way you operate in relationships and suggest ways of modifying them
so they are not repeated.
18. You
will identify sources of ongoing support and reassurance to help you in effectively curtailing and managing your anxiety about starting
anew.
.
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About The Author
Dr. Mike Shery is a licensed clinical psychologist and is affiliated with almost all health plans, including: ValueOptions, Medicare, Cigna, Cigna Behavioral Health, United Health Care, Aetna, First
Health, Healthstar, Blue Cross Blue Shield of Illinois, ComPsych, Magellan Health, HFN, Tricare, Humana, most union local
plans, most school district plans, Unicare, ChoiceCare, CAPP, Multiplan, Mental Health Network, Managed Health Network,
United Behavioral Health, PPONext, Private Health Care Systems, Humana-Military and Beech Street .
He has practiced clinical psychology for approximately 24 years and is board certified as a specialist in professional counseling by the International Academy of Behavioral Medicine, Counseling and Psychotherapy. He is the director of Affiliated
Counseling and Referral Services and is a member of the American Counseling
Association.
The office is located in Cary, IL and in select cases phone consultations are
available for those who don’t live locally> Telephone Counseling.
To make an appointment> New Patient Registrationor to learn more about the psychological services he
providescall him at 1-847-516-0899 (24 Hrs).
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To make an appointment, schedule yourself now;
Click:
Make appointment for Cary Office: Therapy and Counseling
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