Ads By CbproAds
Are You Painfully Dependent on your Partner or Spouse?
Here's what to do about it...
Affiliated COUNSELING
AND REFERRAL SERVICES (ACRS)
DR. Michael Shery, clinical
psychology
2615 Three Oaks Rd, Ste. 2A,
Cary, IL 60013
|
“Since
1976, state-of-the-art counseling which treats the problem, not just the symptom…”
|
________________________________________________________________________
FREE Taped Messages: Call 847 516 0899 (24 Hrs). To
hear: How to Select a Counselor-Push 1; Emotional Stress Caused by an Accident or Injury-Press 2
Go to: Store: Unique Psychological and
Motivational Tools
_____________________________________________________________________
Are You Painfully Dependent on your Partner or Spouse?
As a psychologist and counselor in Cary, Illinois, I find that there can be up to 22 warning
signs that indicate you are suffering from a fear of being abandoned or excessive dependence on someone else.
First, what are these signs?
1.
Inability to become self-sufficient and over-reliance on a partner, spouse or parent for support, housing, approval and care-giving
2. A
history of many fleeting intimate relationships, with little space, if any, between the end of one and the start of another.
3.
Excessive feelings of panic, fear and helplessness when faced with being alone as a relationship comes to an end.
4.
Preoccupied with the need to please others.
5.
Feeling overly hurt by criticism.
6. Needing
excessive reassurance from others before taking action or making an important decision.
7.
Excessive pre-occupation with fears of being abandoned.
8.
Relationships determine almost all of ones self-worth, happiness and fulfillment
9.
Involvement in relationships in which one was physically abused but had great difficulty leaving.
10. Painful avoidance
of saying No or disagreeing with others because of fear of being rejected.
11. Difficulty
appreciating the importance of the dependency in spite of the fact that trusted others continue pointing it out.
12. An attitude saturated
with striving to meet others expectations.
13. Painful neglect of ones
own needs.
14. Chronic reticence in
providing ones own opinion or viewpoint.
15. Guilty allowing others
to give or do things for self
16. Expressing an excessive
sense of responsibility for others.
17. Lack of protest when
boundaries are violated.
18. Taking too long to make
decisions or take action for fear of being wrong.
19. Over-verbalization of
negative things about the self.
20 Finding ending a
relationship with an abusive partner to be almost impossible.
21. Chronic placating of
others in relationships
22. Difficulty in asserting
self because of fear, trepidation and anxiety
If you experience any of these symptoms, it would behoove you to seek therapy or
counseling.
But what will your counseling accomplish? How will
it benefit you?
1.
Increased confidence in oneself to meet ones own needs.
2. You will
be able to implement effective coping skills and fulfill normal responsibilities when you are alone with no current partner.
3. You will
be able to achieve a healthy balance between independence and living with appropriate dependency needs.
4. You will
be able to reduce the dependence on relationships while developing increased autonomy.
5. You
will be able to establish firm self-boundaries with others and protest appropriately when they are violated.
6. Your
self-worth will depend much less on your relationship and much more on the effectiveness of your autonomous behavior.
7.
You will be able to break away cleanly from any abusive relationship.
8.
You will be able to eliminate any of your abuse of mind-altering substances
9. You will be able to implement relaxation training in
order to become more assertive and firm with others.
10. You
will be able to significantly reduce the resentment and anger which has saturated your thinking about a past abusive relationship.
11. You
will start seeing your future as hopeful and not be pre-occupied about needing to find a partner.
12. You
will be able to increasingly ask for what you want and say No to what you don’t want with reduced anxiety
13. You will start
feeling a reduction in your preoccupation of trying to get your partners approval. You will be
able to use relaxation and positive imagery to reduce any pervasive anxiety related to pleasing others in a relationship.
14. You will be able
to identify and reduce any catastrophic expectations caused by the fear of a relationship ending.
15. You should be able to approach previously intimidating situations with much less fear and more
confidence.
16. You should have a
thorough understanding of the results of pathological dependency and be able to progressively reduce the frequency and negative impact of any
relapses.
|
About The Author
Dr. Mike Shery is a licensed clinical psychologist and is affiliated with almost all health plans, including: ValueOptions, Medicare, Cigna, Cigna Behavioral Health, United Health Care, Aetna, First
Health, Healthstar, Blue Cross Blue Shield of Illinois, ComPsych, Magellan Health, HFN, Tricare, Humana, most union local
plans, most school district plans, Unicare, ChoiceCare, CAPP, Multiplan, Mental Health Network, Managed Health Network, United
Behavioral Health, PPONext, Private Health Care Systems, Humana-Military and Beech Street .
He has practiced clinical psychology for approximately 24 years and is board
certified as a specialist in professional counseling by the International Academy of Behavioral Medicine, Counseling and Psychotherapy. He is the director of Affiliated
Counseling and Referral Services and is a member of the American Counseling
Association.
The office is located in Cary, IL and in select cases phone consultations are
available for those who don’t live locally> Telephone
Counseling.
To make an appointment> New
Patient Registration or to learn more about the psychological services he
providescall him at 1-847-275-8236 (24 Hrs).
|
To make an appointment, schedule yourself now;
Click: Make appointment for Cary Office: Therapy and
Counseling
Go to: Store: Unique
Psychological and Motivational Tools
To return to: Marriage and Relationship
Articles
________________________________________________________________________
Ads By CbproAds
|