Need Counseling for your Blended Family?
21 Things to Expect
Affiliated COUNSELING
AND REFERRAL SERVICES (ACRS)
DR. Michael Shery, clinical
psychology
2615 Three
Oaks Rd, Ste. 2A,
Cary, IL 60013
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“Since
1976, state-of-the-art counseling which treats the problem, not just the symptom…”
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FREE Taped Messages: Call 847 516 0899 (24 Hrs). To hear: How to Select a Counselor-Push 1; Emotional Stress Caused by an Accident or Injury-Press 2
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Need Counseling for your Blended Family: 21 Things to Expect
As a psychologist and counselor practicing in the Woodstock-Cary-Algonquin-Crystal
Lake and Lake in the Hills areas of Illinois, I find that there are 21 essentials you can expect when receiving counseling for problems in
your blended family.
But first, what are the signs of blended family problems?
1. Conflicting parenting practices between biological and
stepparents
2. Child rejects the stepparents disciplinary practices
3. Biological parent foments dislike for stepparent
4. Biological and stepparent compete for power and control
5. Conflict develops among the children in the blended
family
6. Ex-spouse interferes with the blended familys lifestyle
7. Childs behavior problems become personalized by the adults,
causing fracture within the family system
If this sounds like your family, you should seek counseling. But when you begin treatment, what will your counselor do? How
does marriage and family counseling for blended families work?
1. Your therapist will help you to identify the positives and
negatives of the stepparents disciplinary procedures..
2. You counselor will create a neutral zone so family members can
express themselves without fear of retaliation.
3. Your therapist may train you in certain communication skills to
build the relationship between relevant spouses.
4. The marriage or family counselor will likely facilitate a healthy
dialogue among disgruntled children and any step or adoptive parent.
5. Your family or marital counselor will likely help the children
explore any feelings of conflict or disloyalty regarding biological parents.
6. Your psychologist or counselor will probably facilitate a healthy
release of any of the childrens fear of abandonment or displaced anger that may be inhibiting acceptance of their stepparents
directives.
7. Parents will be helped to identify and resolve conflicts between
themselves in parenting strategies.
8. The stepparents disciplinary strictness or rigidity will be
assessed as to whether it may be creating resistance on the part of the child.
9. Your therapist may assess the degree to which an ex-spouse may be
unfairly blamed for parenting problems existing within the blended family.
10. The
counselor will help the parents identify and resolve any insecurity or jealousy regarding warmth displayed between a parent and
stepchild.
11. Your
psychologist may invite a former spouse or biological parent into a joint session with other biological or stepparents in order to discuss and
resolve differences in parenting philosophies and techniques.
12. You may
be asked to consider any potential manipulation of the child in playing one parent against the other for territorial or power
advantages.
13. The
children will likely be reassured that they are not responsible for their parents conflicts and that these conflicts do not reflect adversely
on their parents love for them.
14. The
children may be asked to express directly or through a letter the foundation of their feelings for being treated unfairly by a
stepparent.
15. You may
be encouraged to negotiate with the children as to actions that they may perceive as fairer to them.
16. Your
therapist may suggest a list of special activities that the parent and stepchildren can do to reduce any feelings of alienation.
17. Parents
may be encouraged to behave assertively toward children from whom they are afraid of receiving a negative response.
18. The
therapist may help you to identify self-defeating patterns relevant to your parenting skills that may exist in your blended family and suggest
ways of modifying them.
19. The
therapist may prescribe psychological testing for some members of the family, children or parents, to expose any factors that may be neglected
in isolating the causes of the family strife.
20. You
will be helped to identify sources of ongoing support and reassurance to effectively improve and hone your parenting skills.
21. If you
are engaging in any unusual parenting strategies, their methods and effects will be reviewed to be sure that they are contributing efficiently
to the well-being of the family.
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About The Author
Dr. Mike Shery is a licensed clinical psychologist and is affiliated with almost all health plans, including: ValueOptions, Medicare, Cigna, Cigna Behavioral Health, United Health Care, Aetna, First
Health, Healthstar, Blue Cross Blue Shield of Illinois, ComPsych, Magellan Health, HFN, Tricare, Humana, most union local
plans, most school district plans, Unicare, ChoiceCare, CAPP, Multiplan, Mental Health Network, Managed Health Network,
United Behavioral Health, PPONext, Private Health Care Systems, Humana-Military and Beech Street .
He has practiced clinical psychology for approximately 24 years and is board certified as a specialist in professional counseling by the International Academy of Behavioral Medicine, Counseling and Psychotherapy. He is the director of Affiliated
Counseling and Referral Services and is a member of the American Counseling
Association.
The office is located in Cary, IL and in select cases phone consultations are
available for those who don’t live locally> Telephone Counseling.
To make an appointment> New Patient Registrationor to learn more about the psychological services he
providescall him at 1-847-516-0899 (24 Hrs).
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To make an appointment, schedule yourself now;
Click:
Make appointment for Cary Office: Therapy and Counseling
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