Sunday, July 15, 2007

Emotional Abuse in Families

Presented by Dr Mike Shery, 847 516 0899...News about  mental health and family counseling

... serving those living in Palatine, Hoffman Estates, Crystal Lake, Elgin, Dundee, Huntley, Mchenry

 and Marengo, IL

About: marriage, advice, abuse, counseling, couple, family, therapy

Emotional abuse is a large issue that people do not tend to

deal with properly. Emotional abuse stems from the yelling or

screaming of parents and also from the bullies in school

taunting classmates. Emotional abuse is a leading cause of

suicide in the United States. Just like abuse in sexual

matters, emotional abuse can be and would be called just as bad

because of the fact you are dealing with mental trauma.

Emotional abuse can be prevented by making sure kids are not

yelled or screamed at or called names by loved ones. Also, when

classmates and/or school bullies are pushing kids around and

calling others names, this usually stems from emotional abuse

at home.

There are many facilities for the emotionally abused and most

of them are state hospitals and private care facilities. These

facilities are specifically used for emotional abuse and also

for emotional abusers who may or may not be into the drug and

alcohol scene.

Those involved in emotional abuse usually have an agenda. That

agenda is usually to cause as much damage as possible to the

subject so that the person would break down.

When a person breaks down from emotional abuse, there is really

nothing anybody can do but provide support and love toward that

person. Usually a hospital stay will be needed to have the

subject feel better. This is mainly because emotional abuse can

lead to depression and also many other things such as self

inflicted harm, like cutting or hurting oneself.

Emotional abuse is something that needs to be dealt with right

away with parents of subjects that are bullied and usually the

abuser needs issues to be worked out themselves. Emotional

abuse has been reportedly on of the many reasons why many

clinics and hospitals have taken on a vast majority of

patients. This because of the damage that was inflicted on them

by the emotional abuser.

Emotional abuse can and will be used to generate a breaking of

the will sometimes. This is usually done in military camps and

now has proven to be an unhealthy means of working with

recruits who are being made into the machines they become

soldiers. It has become outlawed to be hurt emotionally and

physically by any person in the military these days and is no

longer is put up with.

Most of those involved in emotional abuse are taught to be

abusers. Some emotional abusers can and will grow out of it

while some (the vast majority of them) become jailed or

institutionalized

.

Emotional abuse is a very hurtful and vengeful way of hurting

someone’s personality and their self esteem. Teachers,

community leaders, religious leaders, and peers are always

helping to try to solve and correct the problem. In summary,

emotional abuse needs to be dealt with and the abuser must

be dealt with relatively quickly because it can cause lifelong

damage to the victim. It can cause trauma and make peers and

loved ones hurt themselves and also may cause lifelong damage

that may affect someone’s life for years to come.

Friday, June 22, 2007

BreakUps: Feels Like the Agony Goes on Forever

Presented by Dr Mike Shery, 847 516 0899...News about  mental health and family counseling... serving those living in Palatine,

Crystal Lake, Elgin, Dundee, Huntley, Mchenry and Lake in the Hills, IL

Having a relationship break up is like going through grief? Contrasting grieving and getting over a break up, you can probably see why. In both cases you lose someone you loved and you're unwilling to psychologically let them go. By using similar principles to grieving for someone, you can get over a relationship breakup.

I want you to know bad relationships happen and how to detect them and for you to learn useful advice for managing your break up such as having a support group and keeping your internal thoughts on the right track. You can see these tips are useful for those who are mourning.

You firstly need to be aware that break ups are a part of relationships and life. Acknowledge relationships end all the time. You probably wouldn't have been able to experience the wonderful feelings you had with the partner you are breaking up with if you hadn't broken up with someone before. The same can be said for your future partner. You won't be able to experience the wonderful times and emotions with them if you don't get over your broken relationship.

Types of Break Ups

Not every break up is the same. Some create intense emotions of sadness, depression, and anger while others can be a complete relief. I categorize relationship break ups into three groups:

1. You chose to break up - this type of break up is the easiest and will give you fewest troubles. Often the decision will make you happier then being in the relationship.

2. The other person chose to break up - the hardest type of break up to deal with is the other person deciding to break up with you and is the main focus in this article.

3. Mutual break up - the two of you have talked the process through and concluded splitting up is the best option. The rarest type of break up where each individual often cares how the other person they are leaving feels about the decision. Reasoning, openness, and future plans are common.

Coming to terms with breaking up and knowing which type it is will initiate you being able to get over your relationship break up. However, it isn't that clear-cut. You can often undergo a painfully recurrent uncertainty when splitting up where you wonder if the two of you are actually apart.

The Golden Rule of Moving On

Having truly realized that break ups happen and more importantly that they will happen to you, it's time to tell yourself the golden rule of getting over a break up.

Repeatedly affirm yourself and internalize the belief that you want to get over the person you are breaking up with.

How often have you seen someone want to get over a break up yet they are resistant to actually breaking up with the person?

It happens too often.

What is even worse then being resistant to getting over the person yet wanting to not get over them is not being aware of the mental tug-o-war game within you. The internal conflict within yourself will leave you frustrated and not in control of your thoughts and emotions. You'll be uncertain of getting back together with your old partner while being unwilling to move on and enjoy your life by yourself or with another partner.

You have to be certain of yourself and know what you want. Don't destroy the golden rule. Ask yourself questions and be fully aware of what is making you resistant to emotionally releasing yourself from the person such as "What makes me still attracted to the person?", "Why can't I get over him/her?", and "What do I like about the person?" to develop an understanding of yourself. Ask yourself other questions that you think will help clarify your emotions and thoughts.

Clarity will form a direction you will head towards in your life. It will tell you where not to go. It will show you want you want. You will no longer have second thoughts and be uncertain of what you want. By clearly defining a destination you are able to map out a path as to how you will arrive there.

If you have a choice of flying to one of Paris or Sydney, and you constantly hesitate because you want to visit both cities and you don't want to miss the other, you'll never make a decision and will miss out on visiting either city.

There's a russian proverb that says "if you chase two rabbits, you will not catch either one." By not being 100% clear with what you want (this goes for every other goal in life), you will achieve neither and remain frustrated. You become uncertain of yourself because you never critically think and investigate your feelings and thoughts to know your true desire.

Conduct an 'investigation' making it your goal to discover as much about yourself as possible. Gather as much information about yourself from self-talk and other people to solve 'the crime'. Using this golden rule is the fundamental technique in getting over a relationship breakup.